Wonderland
by The-Seeress-Yeul
Summary: -Post LR- Poison from Bhunivelze still resides inside his pawns. He doesn't know how to control and so he asks the one person who was there for him since the very beginning to help him. -Minor Fanille but is mostly VaniHopu-


**_Wonderland_**

"No, you can't go in there. You don't know what's in there," Her conscience screamed.

But she was curious. She wanted to know or rather confirm what she already knew. He was in there, holed up, locked up by their own friends for everyone's safety. Even though they had defeated Bhunivelze and they were relatively safe in this New World, in Terre, something evil still resided in Bhunivelze's pawns. Lightning knew how to erase it, she had her sister, but Hope had been subjected to brutal mental and physical torture for 169 years where Lightning had only been somewhat under his control for a mere fourteen days.

Hope was okay for the first three years, but one day during the spring, proof of Bhunivelze's injustice on Hope came to light. His mind had begun to grow twisted, warped. His research became unsafe for humans and everyone grew afraid. Snow had called everyone to meet at his and Serah's house. Yeul and Serah had put their children to bed while the adults tried to come up with a solution. It was Vanille who had come up with the answer. It was simple, really. The answer was to lock him away, keep him out of sight, so he wouldn't hurt anyone anymore.

Vanille had been with them when they had done it, used her binding rod to tie him down. The look of hurt in his eyes as he looked at her, at them. Snow had carried him in, Noel had helped and after they left, Serah used her magic to seal him away, to repel anything. After they had finished, they had left and Vanille had gone home with regret in her heart. Surely there was something else that could've been done.

It had been a year later when the dreams had begun. When he began to appear in her dreams. Showed her things, called to her, plead to her, asking to help him. He knew of how to rid himself of the poison left behind by that once almighty god of theirs.

She didn't know who to tell if to tell anyone at all. Six months later, she decided to listen. It was on this day she now found herself outside where he had been locked away.

An abandoned house of mirrors on the outskirts of Centre-Ville. Hauntingly familiar in its likeness to a ride at Nautilus way back then. It was falling apart. The windows broken, paint chipping, an occasional creak from the foundation.

Taking a deep breath, she moved forward against her conscience's words. The veil containing the medicine resided in her purse that was slung across her body. Her pale pink turtleneck kept her warm from the frigid air, her dark brown skirt blowing in the wind with her red hair that was in a ponytail doing the same. She thanked her lucky stars she had worn her snow white leggings and black mary janes. She clutched her crystal apple necklace and continued forward.

She could feel the magic resisting her and she became worried that she wouldn't be able to save him, to help him, but just as those thoughts entered her mind, the magic melted around her and let her move through.

When she reached the entrance, a cold wind blew her inside and something erased the entrance.

"Hope?" Vanille called out, stepping further into the darkness. A lone light from some far off distance reflected on the numerous mirrors standing side by side on both walls and even the ceiling.

"Hope?" She called out again. "I've brought the medicine. Where are you?"

Still holding her necklace, she whispered a silent prayer, a prayer that she hoped would be answered. A breeze blew through and Vanille could hear tinkling of bells. With a blink of her eyes that lone light went out. She blinked again and a figure stood in front of her.

Hope.

She jumped back, startled and her breath picked up. Adrenaline rushing, heart rate increasing, pupils dilating… She let go of her necklace, letting her hands fall to her side.

"Hope! You scared me! I brought the medicine. It's in my purse."

She let her gaze travel away from him to her purse. She rushed to open it, her heart pounding faster by the second. It had been so long since she'd seen him in person. She hadn't realized how much she had missed him until she had.

Her cheeks flushed, palms beginning to sweat… How hot it was in here!

She had just taken the medicine out when she felt his hands on her wrists. They were so warm, not ice cold like she had expected. She took in his appearance. No longer wearing his researcher's attire, he was now closed in a long grey shirt, dark, dark green jeans and dark black shoes. His silver hair looked unkept and his striking blue-green eyes stared at her.

Her eyes grew wide and she dropped the medicine. It rolled away into the distance, neither going to grab it. It was then she noticed how tall he had grown in that short time, she also remembered how old he was.

"Vanille." He whispered.

Hearing his voice for real made her turn even redder, never knowing what it would do to her later.

"Vanille… Thank you… for doing this. I've been alone for so long that I've had some time to think."

"That about what?" She tried to swallow the lump that had set in her throat.

"About things… Certain things… About how I feel… about you."

His eyes staring deep into her soul, waiting for her response.

Locked away in this prison for four years had dulled Bhunivelze's poison but the lingering effects and his predicament had driven Hope insane. He knew what his friends had done had been right, but he never forgot how Vanille had looked at him that day so long ago. Her look full of sympathy, empathy, sadness, regret and something else. Something he had seen in the exchange of looks between Serah and Snow.

_Love._

It was why he surrendered, why he let Snow and Noel lock him in this madhouse. Why he let Serah cast that spell. Why he didn't fight back.

_Love._

Over the years he thought of all the times between him and Vanille, of the times they shared, how they searched for wats to bring each other back and how they filled each other's shoes, filled each other's gaps when no one else could.

These things drove him crazy, but they made him realize how much he cared for her, how much he loved her. So he reached out to her, desperate to tell her how he felt and then something in yelled at him over and over that he had changed. That she'd never love him now. No one would. And so he broke.

A long year and six months of suffering from all time lows, and violent outbursts. These things all going unnoticed by everyone. He took things out on the building, tearing the wallpaper, smashing the mirrors… And then he saw Vanille make her decision in one of the dreams he had sent her. A maniac-like laugh burst forth from his lips, unable to control himself his lips twisted into a crazed smile that resembled a Cheshire cat's.

He would take her, his light, into the darkness with him now and they'd be happy, but a small, meek voice inside himself, something that had been repressed by his break, told him he couldn't do that to Vanille, that wasn't who he was but even so here she was and he wanted her with him now and forever after.

"Vanille… I… I want you to stay with me… forever." His grip on her wrists tightened and his eyes looked like they had begun to change colour, his appearance doing the same too.

She tried to break free from his grasp even though she knew he would never hurt her.

"Wh-What are you saying?"

"You know what I'm saying, Vanille. You've heard it a thousand times by others, haven't you? I love you."

Her face turned really red and her gaze immediately shifted to the floor.

"Hope, I… I have feelings for you, too. I love you, too, but… I can't stay with you forever. Not unless the medicine really does work."

He pulled her into him, holding her tightly, arms wrapped around her, holding, holding, holding.

"I don't really need that medicine. I just need you here. That's all."

He was so _warm._ Why?

To be honest, the more he held onto her, the more afraid of the severity of her situation she became. She tried to pull away, but he clung to her tighter still before she finally said, "Hope? Could you please let me go? You're… You're hurting me."

But he didn't let go and said, "No you don't understand. I want you to join me… in the darkness forever."

Shaking her head, she put much force into her arms and hands and pushed him away from her. Backing away slowly, she shook her head again.

"I can't. I don't belong there. Not anymore."

He was silent as he looked at the floor and not at her. Vanille saw her chance and began to back up more when his voice startled her.

"Do you know what the square root of 169 is? It's thirteen," He didn't wait for her answer. "You know how long I spent in the darkness, Vanille? 169 years. You were there in the chaos for thirteen. You know what it's like."

She had reached the door now and when her back slammed against the door, Hope looked up.

"Please don't go, Vanille."

"Hope, I… I'm so sorry about this."

Using magic and her prayer, she threw at him such a force that it was unlikely that he was to survive it. The strength of her spell and prayer was too much for this madhouse and it began to crumble. Tears sprang to the redhead's eyes and she gulped and said over and over how sorry she was but Hope said he didn't mind. He said it was okay. He thanked her instead, collapsing to the floor while she ran out as the madhouse behind her fell to pieces.

Wiping tears from her eyes she raced home wanting to forget but also not wanting to forget.

Why hadn't there been enough time? Enough time to come up with another solution? Or… was there really no other way? Was killing him the right thing to do? She didn't know anymore. She couldn't even tell the difference between fantasy and reality.

After that night, he had sent her dreams of them together, of what could have been. Them living happily together, normally. She cried and cried and cried. Was this her punishment? Was she being punished?

He was gone now. His soul drifted away to the God of the Dead, melting back into the Chaos to be reborn.

Not enough time….

Her friends became worried. Vanille had begun to have hallucinations, she had delusions and depression. Crying all the time, she was finally locked away for her own safety.

Doctors tried to help her but none could take away those dreams he had given to her. None could take away her love for him.

One day, Fang came to visit her. It was somewhat a bad decision to make because Vanille had thought all her friends were out to get her, that they were evil, that they wanted to hurt her. Fang visited her daily only when she was dreaming, but today was different. Today Fang had come to an conclusion about her own feelings for Vanille. She loved her with her heart and soul and it pained her to see Vanille hurting like she was. So Fang had decided to visit Vanille while she was awake and boy what a surprise it was to her to see her childhood friend standing there. A childhood friend she thought evil.

"Hey, Vanille. Are you doing better?" Fang asked, hand coming to rest on her hip.

Vanille backed away. "What do you want, Fang? Are you here to hurt me?"

"N-No. You know I would never do that to you! I came here to tell you that I… that I love you, Vanille. You're my moon and stars and it hurts me to see you suffering like this."

Vanille's eyes grew wide and afraid. The screaming in her head became louder and she couldn't look at her friend anymore. A brief flash of an image of her believing that she killed herself in those happy dreams to be free from this torture.

Real. It was real.

She had begun to cast a spell to do it when she felt Fang's hands on hers.

"No! No! Don't touch me, Fang! I have to do this!"

"No, you can't!"

She pressed her lips on Vanille's, holding her tight, feeling how warm her friend was, startled by it and it caused her to pull away.

"Why are you so warm?" She asked waiting for an answer when she took in the sight of her friend now more confused and scared than ever.

Tears spilling forth uncontrollably, Vanille whispered an "I'm sorry." and finished her spell.

So sorry was she, the young woman named Vanille, that when she opened her eyes in the Land of the Dead, she was surprised to see one of many Yeuls waiting for her. They felt her pain, her sorrow and told her that they, Hope and Vanille, could start over. They could erase the pains they had endured from Bhunivelze's poisons and start anew, fresh as different people.

She didn't know how to respond, but she felt herself grow sleepy and away her soul went. Into the Chaos to be reborn anew as a new person.

A new person who would fall in love with the one who had once been an intelligent man who brought her happiness.

End

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><p><strong>Author's note:<strong> _First I'd like to thank my friends Alice, Chu and Emily for helping me with some things in the fic like clothing, possibilities, etc. I would not have been able to write this without you guys. uvu Secondly, I am not glorifying the mental illnesses present in this fic. They are extremely sad. And thirdly, I had thought of the idea after listening to Wonderland by Taylor Swift. And also I share some headcanons with a few people about an au where some of Bhunivelze's evil still resides in Hope and causes him to turn evil and also Vanille's appearance is based off of a headcanon of mine._


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